Spotting romance scams: how to see through love scamming in time

A romance scam is fraud built on faked feelings. The perpetrators build a relationship over weeks in order to get to money in the end: sometimes for a supposed plane ticket, sometimes a medical emergency, sometimes a "sure-fire" investment. The victim falls in love with a person who never existed. The damage is real: in the German state of Saxony alone, police counted 280 cases in 2023 in which the fraud succeeded, with total losses of around 4.6 million euros (source 1).

Warning sign 1: it moves far too fast. Anyone talking about soulmates after a few days, calling you "darling" and making plans for the future without knowing you is love bombing (deliberate overwhelming with affection). Real closeness takes time; artificial closeness is in a hurry.

Warning sign 2: there's never a real conversation. Scammers often dodge video calls and spontaneous phone calls, supposedly because of the camera, a bad connection, the time difference. A face would give away the stolen photos. According to the police, they do sometimes call, but without video, to make the bond feel even more personal (source 2). A conversation before any further step is therefore a sensible check, but not proof either way.

Warning sign 3: moving off the platform. "Let's just chat on WhatsApp" is a line that should make you prick up your ears. On the dating platform you can report the profile so it can be blocked; on a private messenger you're largely on your own with the contact. The moment you hand over your number, you lose control of the contact.

Warning sign 4: eventually it's about money. No genuine getting-to-know-you leads to a transfer request. The police name sudden money troubles or emergencies of the new acquaintance as the most important sign of dishonest intentions (source 1). However believable the story sounds: once money, vouchers or crypto come up, be extremely careful. Never send money to someone you've never met in person.

How to protect yourself. Stay in the protected space of the platform until you're sure. Insist on a real conversation early: an anonymous call through the platform often reveals more than many perfectly worded messages, and you don't have to give out a phone number for it. Anyone who keeps avoiding a call shows a warning sign; it isn't proof. And a nice call is no guarantee either: voices can now be faked with AI (source 3), and the rule about money always applies. And if something feels off: report the profile instead of staying polite.