The first date: the most common mistakes — and how to avoid them
The first date is exciting, nerve-wracking and often crucial. Those who make a poor first impression usually don't get a second chance. But the good news: the most common mistakes are predictable — and avoidable.
Mistake 1: Choosing the wrong place. Cinema, loud club, concert — all places where you don't talk. The first date isn't an event, it's a conversation. A quiet café, a walk or a relaxed restaurant are the right settings. You want to get to know your date — not share an experience in parallel.
Mistake 2: Talking too much about yourself. Nervousness often leads to filling conversation gaps with your own stories. The result: your date feels like an audience, not a conversation partner. Genuine interest in the other person — really listening, asking follow-up questions — is the best conversation starter there is.
Mistake 3: Phone on the table. Nothing signals 'you're not important to me' more effectively than a smartphone you keep an eye on during conversation. Phone away, full attention on the person in front of you.
Mistake 4: Talking about exes. Yes, they exist. No, the first date isn't the right time. Whether positive ('my ex said the same thing') or negative ('my ex always...') — both signal that you're not quite in the here and now yet.
Mistake 5: No real conversation beforehand. The most underestimated problem: two people who only know each other superficially via text sit across from each other and try to create chemistry on the spot. A brief phone call before the date would have solved many of these problems already: you already know there's chemistry (or not). The date doesn't start from zero.
Key takeaways
- Choose a place to talk — not an event
- Listen more than you speak
- Put the phone away on the date
- Keep quiet about exes
- A phone call beforehand eliminates the worst nerves